Artificial reality

March 19, 1999

In my truck I sat, sucking on a straw and eating some fries. Loud noise poured from the speakers and I halfheartedly listened to the jumbled mix of words and chaotic noise that surrounded me. As I walked back to my room from the parking lot, I tossed my advertising-emblazoned cup into the trash and realized it's all so fake.

Life should be simple, one would think. Necessity dictates only shelter, food, friendship. But we have created this massive, tangled mess of materialism and greed. People never say what they mean, everyone's trying to sell you something. Politicians aren't public servants, just smooth-talking men and women looking for people to respect them and submit to their 'plans' and 'resolutions.' Everything is so much more than it must be. Politicians, people, and their material things should stop being more than they are. Leaders are people. Objects are things. Nothing is everything.

We have so much but are not truly happy. To walk along in the woods among the songs of birds and the dappled sunlight is always more enjoyable than strolling through the mall with it's humming flourescent materialism. Like the television ads for cars say: "Simplify." It's rather funny. Buying anything will not likely simplify your life. Especially an expensive new car. Buying nothing and perhaps getting rid of everything, now that's simplifying. Would that lead to a blissful existence?

I am sorry about this entry. It truly is rambling. But I was inspired somewhat after hearing Peter Matthiessen speak today. He read a few passages from some of his books and discussed several issues that had been floating around campus. You see, this week was the UND Writer's conference and writers have gathered for discussions, book signing, etc.

My impressions about Peter Matthiessen began forming before he even stepped onto the stage. This impression I got of him was due to the introduction he was given. I got the feeling he would be a stuffy, snobbish kind of a man because he required a second introduction. The man introducing him said "He requires a more personal introduction" (than the one given by UND President Kendall Baker via video tape). But Peter Matthiessen was far from snobbish or stuffy. In fact, I found him to be very honest and extremely direct. He states what he means without an excessive concern for his audience. He is not careful when he speaks and his words aren't rehearsed, but he nonetheless has a way with the language.

This trait really showed through when he openly condemned UND's use of the Fighting Sioux logo, saying we should change the name out of kindness to the natives rather than fighting a battle with them that one day will be lost anyway. His point seems valid and honest and when I think about it, I wouldn't really care if the name changed.

Well, on to a different topic. To cap off my spring break, I saw Collective Soul in Winnipeg last Sunday night. I went with Melanie, Jesse, and Ronnie. The three of them stayed in a motel Sunday night, but I headed back to school not long after the concert. I was exhausted when I got all my stuff moved back into my room, but it was worth it. I think Collective Soul is getting better every time I hear them or they come out with a new disc. After seeing them again (this is my second Collective Soul concert) I had to go out and purchase their CDS. I already had one and I had lost another one I used to have. I went out and bought their new one, Dosage, and bought a replacement for the one I lost, Collective Soul. Ever since Sunday, I've had "run" and "crown" repeating endlessly in my head.

Last weekend we celebrated my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. It was a blast. It always is when you get my cousins, grandparents, aunt, and uncle together. I honestly don't think I've ever seen them so happy. My cousins, my brother, and myself all wrote letters, poems, or stories about the memories and feelings we hold about the years at grandma's house. My grandma read them aloud, her voice trembling and tears of joy streaming down her face.

There were photos, of course. As we all know, a photo session that lasts at least one hour must be held at all family functions. I took some portraits of the two of them together, and I am extremely anxious to see the results.

Tonight, the most productive week of the semester thus far comes to a close. I did so much homework in the last few days it's almost unreal. I even did some computer programming. In true computer programmer form, I skipped meals and obtained sustenance by shoving my crinkled dollar bills into the vending machine down the hall from the computer lab.

What a paradox. What hypocrisy. I preach about simplification yet study for a career that is perhaps one of the most removed from reality and is far from simple. Programming requires you to focus all of your mental power on abstract arrangements of structures and containers that don't really exist in any tangible sense. What a complex world we live in.